Here are some new verses written by me partly to get Tom Eshelman into the song, and partly to let you know what the good Doctor is up to these days. I found a more recent YouTube video (Monster Mash) since the previous video was pulled due to copyright violations.
Ten years later Tom wondered where I was
Eshelman had not heard from me, it gave him pause
All my web pages had vanished from sight
I was playing my Monster E nearly every night
(It's now an E) It's now a Monster E
(a triple E) hooked to a double B
(a double B) in tune in any key
('tweighs 83) It's now a Monster E
Some years back, the trumpet was out of tune
Brass Quintet replaced me with a double bassoon
No groups would have me, I was all alone
and then it hit me, I could build my own.
(Up in the shop) I burned the midnight 'erl
(I didn't chop) I gave Excel a whirl
(a new crop) in tune with no squirrel
(I didn't stop) it's a real pearl
I had to go build something old yet new
And my monster E was getting lonely too
I stayed up all night to design another one
A smaller Gronitz that won't weigh a ton
(It was an E) An itty bitty E
(a high high E) hooked to a single B
(a single B) in tune in every key
('weighs 23) a double belled Euphie
We play duets, in perfect well tempered harmony
Three bells shine in any mode of any key
We play duets by Bach, Henning, Self and Sear
Sometimes we make things up and play by ear
(It was an heir) only takes half the air
(I have to share) a duet takes a pair
(some people stare) others do not care
(it's unfair) I have two bells there
Monster Mash Ten Years Later
Monster Mash (thanks to Tom Eshelman)
I don't think a blog about Dr. Young's Monster Tuba would be complete without the following lyrics. Here is the only link http://www.chisham.com/tips/bbs/dec1999/messages/19229.html I could find when I tried to Google it. The following is what you would find there.
Song for Joe S., Carl K., Kelley O, + ..
Posted by Tom Eshelman on December 14, 1999 at 13:12:37:
THE MONSTER TUBA MASH
I was working in my shop late one night
When I grafted a Gronitz on a King Upright
I took some valves from old Rudy's, three for each hand
then I blew a few notes to see what I had
(It was an E) It was a Monster E
(a triple E) hooked to a double B
(a double B) in tune in any key
('tweighed 83) It was a Monster E
To my small workshop in the lower northeast
People came from afar to have a look at the beast
They brought me their old Conns, Yorks, and Keefers
So I could combine them into double triple eefers
(They're now all E's) They're now all Monster E's
(they're triple E's) hooked up with double B's
(yes double Bs) with 14 water keys
(they weigh 83) they're all now Monster E's
Sellmansburger was having fun, the party had just begun
The guests included Kleinstuber, Sam Gnagey, and Dr. Young
The scene was rocking, all were digging the sound
of Kelly O backed by his Fifth Bass clowns :-)
Howard Johnson and Gravity were about to arrive
With their vocal group The Holton Chopping Five
(They all brought E's) They all brought Monster E's
(yes triple E's) hooked up with double B's
(yes double B's) in tune in any key
(weighing 83) they all had Monster E's
Out from Arizona, Pat Sheridan's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He put down his Bon-bons and cried angrily
"Whatever happened to my 983?"
(It's now an E) It's now a Monster E
(a triple E) hooked to a double B
(a double B) in tune in any key
('tweighs 83) It's now a Monster E
Now everything's cool Pat's a part of the band
And my monster double tuba is the hit of the land
For you, the amateur, this fun was meant too
Just get yourself some junkers, a torch, and some glue,
(And build an E) yes build a Monster E
(a triple E) hooked to a double B
(a double B) in tune in any key
('twill weigh 83) your very own Monster E
Tom Eshelman made up and posted these lyrics on the tubenet BBS, and he managed to work in the names of guys in the BBS who are bigtime tuba builders/modifiers. I have also embedded a Monster Mash video just in case you are wondering what it sounds like.